Validating Emotions
Foundational CBTThe one reason you're jealous is that you love him. Is that you're-- That's the biggest thing. You're so connected to him. Right? And he's this great guy and you don't wanna lose that. And so you have this fire-- this fire alarm going on, you think there's a fire and then you've gotta do something to put it out. You gotta control it. Right? So it begins unraveling, unraveling and then he says, you have to trust me and that doesn't work.
Your mind gets hijacked and you don't have any tools right now to deal with that hijack. You're kind of like, you know, the the jealousy thoughts just pull you in that direction, off you're running and then you feel I've gotta run fast, I've gotta get the answer, get I've gotta eliminate the uncertainty. It's a hard place for you to be. It's in Do do you feel that people really don't understand how hard it is for you? Yeah. I it, I-- I feel kind of, crazy for saying how overwhelmed I feel by this.
Yeah. And and I and when I try to express it to either my sister or to my Yeah. really good friend, I don't think they understand just how overwhelmed I am all the time with these thoughts. Right. I think and that's why when earlier you said, oh, do you think other people experience this? And I hesitated because I can't imagine that everyone goes through life feeling these big wild feelings that I'm feeling. Yeah. Other people just might be better equipped for dealing with them or they just don't feel this way.
Right. Yeah. So let-- let me think what you're saying about these feelings that you're having, one, is you think there's something wrong with you that you have these feelings. Right? There's something Yeah. Maybe defective or something like that. Second, you you think that other people really can't understand how difficult it is for you. Are you-- So you you don't really feel sufficiently validated by people, right?
And and honestly like I've I've stopped sharing it with people because Sure. Yeah. You know, the breathing and the focusing on you It doesn't work. Doesn't work. Right? That's why I'm here. It's not like you stop breathing. So... Yeah. But it's well meaning though, isn't it? It's like they want you to feel better.
So Mhmm. So the other people don't know how difficult it is for you. And then you think that these thoughts are dangerous, that that that not that just the thoughts, but that the thoughts predict something bad is gonna happen. Mhmm. And then you think that you have no control over these thoughts and feelings. Mhmm. And then you and it and and then you you think it's incomprehensible.
I can't understand why I'm like this. What is wrong with me? It feels like something's wrong with me. Yeah. Do you think there's something wrong with everybody? Yeah. We're we're all a little broken. Right.