Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Coping Questions in Action
Here you'll see me work on a common challenge in SFPT. Clients will come back reporting that things are worse. And in this situation, we'll often ask a coping question. By asking a coping question, we're able to help the client shift their viewpoints from focusing on the problems to thinking about possible solutions in ways that they've been able to manage. In addition to coping questions, you could also ask exception questions, relationship questions, or even scaling questions because all of these techniques help the client focus away from the problems to a more solution building mentality. What's been better between you and your parents since our last meeting?
Honestly, I feel like it's worse than the last time I was here. I tried talking with them about the game night thing with Alex and it's like they didn't listen. They didn't want to spend time with him and then we started talking about my grades and it just turned into this big fight about like me not working on my school stuff Which I get is important but also the stuff with Alex is important too. And I just feel like they're not even trying with him. And that they don't care that they're hurting his feelings.
Okay. How have you managed to cope with everything at home given what you just described? Honestly, I just call Alex if I'm really mad. Cause right now my parents say that we are not allowed to hang out until my grades get better which is kind of stupid because it's not just him, it's also my job at the cafe and they wanted me to take these harder classes this year. It's like even if I had all of this time, I I don't get it. Yeah. So it's not just me being tired and having all these other things.
Like Alex is not the only reason that I'm failing these classes. It's because these classes are hard. Yeah. So what does Alex say to you when you call him and you're upset because you've had this fight with your parents that helps you sort of manage and deal with everything that's going on at home? I mean, he doesn't try to fix it. He lets me talk, and I feel like because Peyton and Lauren have all of this other stuff that they're doing that I'm not on the track team anymore. I can't really talk with them about it because they're busy.
And I see them in some of my classes, but it's not like I'm gonna talk about my parents in class. So, yeah. I mean, we've called the last couple of nights because I'm not allowed to go over and hang out with him at his house. And, yeah, he's just asked me like how things are going. And it just doesn't make any sense to me. Like I'm spending the same amount of time on the phone with him that I would if I was at his house.
Yeah. So like why does it matter? So it sounds like for your parents to kind of be open to you spending time with Alex? What would you need to do different that would let them know they should allow you to to do that? I mean, they don't really wanna talk about it. Like, I don't know what else I can do. I like I'm tired of being the only one to come up with solutions.
Yeah. Like, I have to go to study groups and I have to manage my work schedule and I have to make sure that Alex is behaving well around them. Like, I They're not perfect and so I can't be the only one that's constantly trying to fix things. Yeah. Has there been a time where your parents put pressure on you to do things that you didn't want to do or struggled with, but yet you were able to do it in a way that was right for both of you, for you and for your parents? Not really. I mean, they're like the whole reason that I'm in this AP stats class.
Like, I'm not even good at math. It doesn't make any sense that I'm in this class, but I'm supposed to get into a good college. Right? Yeah. So it doesn't really matter what I want.