Bringing Values Into Exposure Work
Trauma-Focused ACTFor any, intense experiential work, obviously very important to keep checking in that the client okay to keep going. We don't wanna be coercive. We want to ensure willingness. And particularly when we're doing this really challenging work with traumatic memories. So if your client does wanna take a break, then I like to do a little bit of work with values during that break. Come back to the values and the values based goals that are motivating the exposure in the first place.
You know, two or three minutes is usually enough just to kind of get the client back in touch with what's really important, what's this all about. And then go back into the exposure. Firstly, let me say. I I I'm I'm so deeply moved by your I know that the word courage doesn't fit with you, but I don't know what else to call it. What you're doing is is kind of facing up to your fears and dealing with these intensely painful memories and emotions, and I I am really, admire your your willingness to do that. I can only begin to kinda imagine how difficult this is for you.
When we do this work, it is often you know, incredibly tense and difficult. And that's why it's so important, you know, that we you know, there's a motivation for it. So tell me a little bit about, you know, you and Rory and and what matters to you in your relationship, what tell them? What's your favorite thing that Rory does? What do you find cute?
He goes on rants about HD wells look h g wells, the author. Yeah. I loved it. He's so passionate about it. What what does he rant about? Just everything's history teacher. So, yeah, just random, random, like, quirks about him, like, he's deeply passionate about the things he likes, even though they're odd. Yeah. He's really nice about that. He Yeah. He's odd. Not anyone like that.
He's he's not interested in what most people are interested in. It's not even a factor, but And when are you, what kind of things do you do when you, you know, when you're having a good time together? Or do you enjoy masks when things are going well? Things are going well. We both kind of lift each other up a lot. If you notices, a little bit like this, which is a lot lately because we've been together for a while.
So I guess that there's he doesn't put the expectation on on me, but I do So he's kind of supportive understanding. Yeah. Yeah. He's really good, but I just worry that, it's been so long most of his friends doing that sort of stuff now. It's just I don't know whether it feels like use. I know it's not babying me, but So, so notice again your mind's pulling you into the kind of scary future. It's let's just come back to tell me about Nice. He's patient.
He's very patient. Yeah. So he's patient? Yeah. He's Does he make you laugh? Yeah. He's really good. He's really fun. He's really. Yeah. Wonderful. What are some of the things you enjoy doing together when when when things are going well in the relationship? We just watch a lot of TV. It's crazy. What do you like watching?
Usually, I end up falling asleep halfway through. I'm, like, I'm watching one division. Oh, yeah. Fantastic show. That's brilliant. He almost sounds like a new show every week. I don't have a lot of time for it, but he does Yeah. It's kind of how it gets me to slow down a lot. Yeah. Forces me, not forces, but, yeah. Make sure I'm okay and make sure that I'm taking time for myself, which is really nice.
And so, you know, if if Rory was here and I kinda said to him, so tell me what do you what do you think Lucy's greatest qualities are do you think he'd say? Dedication, maybe? Mhmm. Hardworking. I like to think of NICE. Yeah. And so this this is an important relationship. And and this is the only reason why we're doing this work. Yeah. And I never want it to be like a pressure on you that you need to do this to please me or do this to tick off some therapy box or something.
So We can call it a day or we can carry on and do some more work with this. It's really it's really your call. Yeah, we can do a bit more. Just a yeah. Just a bit. Okay. Well, again, you know, that that really, you know, touches me, deeply that you are are willing to face up to this difficult stuff in the service of something really important.