Examining the Evidence
Foundational CBTWell, one way that we can start to do it would just be to start to talk about the evidence for and against. Let's start with this idea of you being a loser. Okay. Let's start with the evidence for. Okay. What tells you that you are a loser? I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I'm in my mid thirties, and I don't have a a home we rent. We don't have so I don't own my own property. Running into my friends kind of validated that.
I locked myself away in rooms and drink and, you know, kind of shy away from people. I get down on myself a lot. Yeah. So I would say I'd say that's a a pretty good starting point of why I feel the way I do. I can see that. Now let's let's look at the other side of it. Is there evidence that you can think of that would suggest that you're not a loser?
I'm trying. I'm trying, like, despite all of those things. I'm trying to get better. I'm here. I'm addressing them. I do I mean, I don't like my job, but I do have a job. I'm paying bills. I'm a, you know, contributing citizen, so to speak. Mhmm. I'm I'm in a stable relationship, which speaks to at least some type of commitment Mhmm.
To caring for two kids. Yeah. And I do have a good work ethic. Like, I've always punched in and punched out. When I'm at work, I give, you know, a hundred percent. So what do you think about people who are like that? People who take care of their kids, have a job, get their job done, do a good job at it. I mean, when you see somebody like that, do you view them as a loser?
No. I think it's admirable. I think they're doing the right things. So what's different here? Why doesn't that apply to you? I don't know. That's a question for you, doc. Like, I I we're our own worst enemies. Like, we I don't look at it like that. I just focus on me and the negative aspects of where I wanna be, where I see myself.
And that might be good for other people to do that and be in the job that I'm in, but for me, it doesn't it doesn't feel that way. Yeah. Well, and it may not be that you're in the job that you want. It may not even be that you that your life is going the way that you want it to, and that's perfectly reasonable. I guess I'm just wondering, does that really add up to you being a loser and a failure?
Or might it be that there's a different way of describing you besides that? If someone else was looking in, they might not be as harsh or see it the way that I see it. They might see me as a success. Yeah. Maybe I'm just on a on a journey that I haven't reached the destination that I want just yet.