Finding Your Wise Mind
Applied DBT Skills for TraumaThe skill of wise mind is based on the basic belief that all people have within themselves the ability to be wise. And what you're going to be doing is simply teaching clients how to find their own wisdom. Now, besides wise mind, I have two other kinds of mind. Reasonable mind is when a person is only paying attention to reason itself. How you feel doesn't matter, what you want doesn't matter, what you're hoping for doesn't matter.
None of that matters because what they're looking for is what the facts are. Now we can go right across wise mind and run into emotion mind. So what is emotion mind? What I mean by emotion mind is when you overdo emotions. This is when you're being completely controlled by emotions.
It's just like logical mind. You're being completely controlled by logic. Over here, you're being completely controlled by your emotions. Whether they fit the facts or they don't fit the facts, totally irrelevant. Now emotion mind and reasonable mind are the opposite of wise mind.
Wise mind includes the synthesis of both of those. Wise mind is the ability to go within and find wisdom, and it's based on the idea that everyone has the capacity for wisdom. We have one way that we try to practice helping people get to wise mind. There's a practice I like that sounds like it would fit well for this situation, which is essentially a little bit of breathing. You know, we're big into breathing. There's so much breathing.
But, taking a breath in and on your inhale, asking yourself a question. So I think the question is, should I go to this family gathering? Right? Right. And then on the exhale, just listen for an answer. You're not trying to think up an answer. You're not trying to sort of force anything, but just kinda listen to what happens for you naturally as you exhale.
And then inhale again. Should I go? Exhale. Listen for an answer. Go ahead and ask yourself the question as you breathe in and then just... Okay. See what you notice on the exhale. It would mean so much to her that I would go. Mhmm. And her mother has actually written me and requested that I come.
Mhmm. And I feel like if I don't, it might not go over well. Mhmm. It might cause some problems. They might think that I rejected them. Mhmm. Yeah. And I know how rejection feels on, like, a grandiose level. Feel like I should go. Mhmm. To support the love of my life.
Mhmm. And not reject her family who has invited me Mhmm. To be with them. Yeah. That sounds wise to me. Well, does that feel like your wise mind to you to go? That feels like that feels like the wise mind. Alright. Well, then we'll need to spend some time figuring out what to do while you're there. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah. That should be fun. Yeah. Mhmm.