We've talked about attachment styles or strategies for managing emotion. People either turn it up, turn it down or some combination of both. Highly relevant to the eFit therapist is also capacity, which is akin to window of tolerance. So how much capacity do our clients have to manage what Bowlby would describe as frightening, alien and unacceptable emotion.
When those strategies are highly reflexive and automatic, capacity is limited. When those strategies are more flexible, our clients have greater capacity. Part of what we do to help structure and pace the process at therapy outset is not only tune into style or strategy, but also capacity. An example might be a client sharing a story that we know is likely to be meaningful from an attachment point of view and an emotional point of view. But instead of beginning to feel that emotion, potentially even share that emotion, that client shuts down or dissociates.
That helps us to know about our client's capacity. On the other hand, a client with higher capacity might immediately shut down, realize that they've shut down and then begin to share in titrated ways some of the emotional experience connected to that event. As well with respect to capacity, as Bowlby would say, nobody encounters vulnerability alone. So we as therapists also need to have the capacity to join with our clients in their experiences, in their emotional experiences, in ways that help them to feel seen and known and accompanied.