Question 1

I'd love to hear more about this paradox, especially when the world around us seems to prove otherwise on a daily basis. Maybe this can assist me with my anger management patients.

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

Thank you for this question. The paradox you refer to is that boys and men commit the majority of physically violent crimes, yet most boys and men are not violent. This reflects the fact that violence is low frequency behaviour, and it also indicates that some aspect of masculinity that varies among males might account for this incongruence. Research across five social scientific disciplines suggests that males who feel that they do not measure up to their own standards for masculinity, or who are induced to feel that way after their masculinity is threatened, are likely to react violently.

For more information:  Levant, R. F., & Pryor, S. (2020). The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths about Masculinity and Violence. New York: Oxford University Press. ISBN: 9780190075873

https://www.amazon.com/Tough-Standard-Truths-Masculinity-Violence/dp/0190075872

Question 2

Is traditional masculinity all bad? Many of the men in my life are nurturing and empathic (more so than many women I know) and in touch with their emotions but at the same time competitive, stoic and aggressive when they need to be?

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

This question brings up an important distinction – that between being a man and masculinity. The men you speak of seem to have a flexible view of how to be a man in the world, that does not require conforming to traditional masculine norms, such as restrictive emotionality and avoiding all things feminine. As a result, they are able to identify and express their emotions, and also able to be empathic to others. That makes me curious about how they were able to accomplish that. For more information on how to be a man without masculinity: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/men-crossroads/202008/learning-be-man-without-masculinity-0

Question 3

Do you think that fathers having a more hands on role in caring for their young children - feeding, diapers, play helps children have a more balanced view of being male? What does the research show about boys who have grown up with single mothers? Does this help or hinder boys in moving away from rigid gender roles?

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

Very interesting question. I do think that fathers having a more hands-on role in caring for their young not only helps children have a more balanced view of being male but also improves the father-child bond. A recent article from a new father discussed the bottle-feeding of infants. His wife had been having great difficulties lactating, so despite their misgivings informed by the motto ‘breast is best’ they turned to bottle-feeding. Here is what he had to say about it: “Those blue plastic boxes of white powder, which at first seemed like a sinful corporate invasion of our sacred family space, introduced an equality and a peace in our home that seemed impossible in those first hellish weeks. Even more unexpectedly, it gave my relationship to my son a depth that I, as a father, would have otherwise missed out on, and that has continued long after he stopped drinking from a bottle.” For more information: Popper, N. (2019, February 23). What baby formula does for fathers. The New York Times.

Question 4

What can we do about the fact that males police other males in terms of being masculine? How can we help our boys withstand this and be emotionally expressive and have their own interests?

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

What an important question! This is indeed a big problem. One study conducted many years ago showed that between the ages of 4 and 6 (i.e., while boys are attending preschool and elementary school), boys lose their natural facial expressivity. This is thought to result from boys having their gender expression policed by other boys. But there is hope that this can be counteracted, as indicated in this video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kbtFhrN09w&ab_channel=HumbleEgo.

Question 5

What specifically should psychologists working with men do to help with alexithymia?

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

Thank you for this forward-looking question. Psychologists working with men who have difficulty identifying and describing their emotions might find Alexithymia Reduction Treatment (ART) useful. At my website, I offer the individual or group manual of ART. You can also find citations of articles on Normative Male Alexithymia (NMA). If you are interested in training, I offer a video illustrating the use of the precursor of ART in individual therapy.  There are two options: a VHS option (“Men and emotions) and a DVD option (“Effective psychotherapy with men”). They are the same tape, though the VHS version comes with a manual. For more information:  DrRonaldLevant.com

Question 6

How have those high in traditional masculinity traits fared in the covid pandemic - given the links to substance use and low help-seeking behavior?

Ronald Levant · Accepted Answer

Thank you for this very timely question. Typical masculine behaviour has been shown to put men’s health at risk. Men drink more alcoholic beverages, use more tobacco products, wear seatbelts less, visit their physicians less, fail to take medications as prescribed, fail to eat a healthy diet, and exercise less. And they also die 5 years sooner than women on average.  Typical masculine behaviour during the Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in men getting more severe infections, being admitted into I.C.U.s, and dying more frequently than women. For more information: Courtenay, W. (2010) Dying to be men. New York: Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203853245   Mahalik, J. R., Di Bianca, M. and Harris, M. P. (2021). Men’s attitudes toward mask-wearing during COVID-19: Understanding the complexities of mask-ulinity. Journal of Health Psychology, 1–18.
DOI: 10.1177/1359105321990793

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