Be a Mirror for the Client

Name: Be a Mirror for the Client
Uploaded: 2025-11-02T00:06:27.000Z
Description: Debra Wesselmann explores how mirroring helps clients understand and articulate their internal states through the empathetic lens of the therapist.

Debra Wesselmann explores how mirroring helps clients understand and articulate their internal states through the empathetic lens of the therapist.

From the course

EMDR for Attachment Injuries

Recall, if you will, that children develop the capacity to reflect upon their inner state, put words to their feelings and thoughts, when that secure parent is mirroring back to them what the child is feeling and thinking. This first strategy allows the clinician to become that mirror. The clinician mirrors the feelings, thoughts, internal state of the client when the client cannot acknowledge or recognize that state, or they are unable to articulate that state or maybe the client is in denial about their internal state. It's important that the clinician never tell the client what the client is thinking or feeling. What we can do instead is use our self and our relationship with the client And then we can reveal what we are thinking or feeling in response to what we're observing in the client. For example, I might say to my client, as you talk about this, here's what I'm noticing is happening inside of me. Or I might say, gosh, my heart hurts to think about what happened to you. Or I might say gee, if it had been me as a kid, I can imagine thinking this, or I can imagine feeling this way. So as you can see in these examples, the client feels felt. The client is able to understand themselves by hearing what I'm feeling, by seeing themselves through my eyes. I'm hard on myself sometimes, though. Yeah. It just feels like there's nowhere know where to output that that anger here. Yeah. I can I can imagine? That's gotta be so hard because there's no other nobody else there to to connect with. You must feel I don't know. I'm only guessing because I have to just imagine the situation, but I guess if it were me, James, I I would feel so alone with this situation in your in your shoes. I only need myself. I I don't need Anyone else. I'm not dependent on anyone. I I've gotta figure it out. I I don't think there's any reason for me to need to output that anywhere. Sounds like it sounds like you have figured out how to, just shut down your needs for for people as a way of of coping with all this. I guess you could say that. Yeah. Perhaps. Yeah. Yeah.