We don’t yet have a good understanding of the temporal dynamics of boredom. Indeed, boredom researchers have recently noted this gap in our knowledge and encouraged study on the topic. One study found that while people are learning they experience episodes of boredom that last for approximately 2 minutes, before being replaced by other feelings. Boredom is likely unstable because it involves a strong desire to become mentally engaged. The feeling itself seems to motivate a change. We know that boredom is associate with both low and high energy, and we can’t feel these two things at once, so a given episode of boredom likely involves changes, or oscillations, in energy levels. We might, for example, be restless at one moment as we try to become mentally engaged and then listless the next moment if we fail to do so. Examining the temporal dynamics of boredom over minutes and seconds is an important area of future research.

Some people, the so-called boredom prone, are more burdened by boredom than others. Such people might become bored more often, feel it more intensely, be less tolerant of the feeling, or struggle to free themselves from boredom when it does occur. Some people even report feeling as if their whole life is boring. This does not mean they literally feel bored constantly, but rather it means that that when they reflect on their lives, they say it is characterized by boredom. So, in this sense, we could say that for some, boredom can be endless.

Defining boredom is tricky and important. It’s tricky because there are several ways to think about boredom. It’s important because a clear, agreed upon definition helps scientists and scholars work together.

Psychologists generally agree that boredom is an ‘affective state’, which is a broad category that includes things like emotions, feelings and moods. Defining boredom as an affective state means: it feels uncomfortable (valence), it involves a non-optimal level of energy (arousal) and that it urges us to find something to do (motivational intensity). Researchers are still working out how best to characterize the non-optimal energy and motivational push components of boredom.

Our research team suggests boredom can involve both high and low energy levels as we struggle to become engaged; lethargic one moment, and then restless the next. Also, when bored, we desperately want to do something, but simultaneously don’t want to do anything that is available to us. So, our motivational push is dysfunctional, we are caught in a desire bind.

We define boredom as the uncomfortable feeling of wanting, but being unable, to engage our mind, this happens when we are caught in a desire bind and our mind is unoccupied. Boredom is typically associated with a slowed passage of time, the sense that what’s at hand lacks value, an inability to concentrate and non-optimal, shifting energy levels. In our view, these associated features could be thought of as immediate causes or consequences of boredom, or even as part of boredom itself.

Resist the urge to tell them what to do: Telling a bored person what to do is a bit like telling a drowning person to swim to shore – if they could they would. Rattling off a list of options rarely works – when your child is bored, nothing appeals. The problem is not lack of options; the problem is an inability to want to do what’s available.

Punishment doesn’t help either: You might have heard the following: If you can’t keep busy, then I’ll give you something to do! Wielding chores as a threat or punishment doesn’t banish boredom, even if it might train your child to stop complaining. Your child needs help to understand boredom and respond well.

Help your child understand boredom: Try to acknowledge how they are feeling. Consider instructive comments like: • I can see you don’t like feeling bored. • There are lots of things you could be doing right now, but you don’t feel like you want to do any of them. • I have felt that way before too. • Boredom is a normal feeling that happens when you can’t seem to get ‘into’ something. • Boredom ‘tells’ us we need to figure out what we care about. Empathy may help your child understand boredom and be more open to finding a solution with your help.

Help them find their own solution: The key is to help children discover who they are, what they care about, and how they want to express themselves. Instead of suggesting an activity, get them to engage in self-discovery. You can ask questions such as: • What are you good at doing? • What did you enjoy doing yesterday? • What interests you? Another idea is to share your observations: • I’ve noticed that you seem happy when you are helping someone. • I’ve noticed that playing with friends is more fun for you than playing alone. • I remember last week you did arts and crafts for a long time.

Scaffold when needed: Scaffolding means providing more support at first, and then gradually withdrawing that support to encourage independence. You might start an activity yourself and let your child know they can join you. Choose an activity such as drawing, building, puzzles, or imaginary play – something that could be done alone or together. Be clear that they don’t have to “want” to do the activity in order to participate. If your child joins in, you may both be surprised to notice that your child’s boredom melts away! Once they are rolling, you can leave them to continue on their own.

Your child’s boredom is not a problem that you must immediately fix by giving them something to do! Boredom is an opportunity to help your child understand themselves, and develop the skill to find their own way.

Currently we have very little research on boredom in pre-adolescent children (i.e. before the aged of 10). We do know that boredom levels rise between the ages of 10 to 17, and then after peaking, gradually drop to a low point in mid-life. Our understanding of why 10–17-year-olds are more likely to get bored probably applies to children below the age of 10 as well.

We know that constraint; that is, not being able to do what you want to do, and having to do what you do not want to do, are prime causes of boredom. When our self-determination is thwarted, it is harder to want to do what is available. Children and adolescents simply have less control over their lives compared to adults, and this may result in them feeling bored more often.

We also know that people who struggle to control their attention are more likely to become bored. This makes sense because controlling attention is necessary to effectively engage and stay focused on an activity. The front part of the brain that controls attention does not fully develop until a person reaches their twenties, and this is likely another reason young people get bored more than adults.

Other kinds of self-regulation are probably important too. For example, we know that people who struggle to understand and work with their emotions are more likely to become bored. Emotions are like compass points that orient us in life towards valued activities. Lacking emotional skill is like being at sea without a compass; we easily lose our way and struggle to find satisfying activity. As our emotional skill increases with age, we are less likely to be bored.

There is another sort of explanation that has been less fully explored. When we complain of something being boring, or when we declare ourselves to be bored, we are essentially saying whatever is at hand is not good enough. We may even be implying that we are superior to the activity. So, when young people complain of boredom, they may be trying to communicate something to the adults about their circumstances. In this way of thinking, boredom in young people could be a way of rejecting adult culture.

On the flip side, when young people are not able to engage in some activity because it is too challenging for them – over-challenge being another well-known contributor to boredom – they may be trying to save face by blaming the environment. Imagine, a young person struggling to complete math homework that is beyond their ability. Rather than attributing failure to their lack of skill, or to the work being too difficult, they might say the work boring. Here again we see that to be bored is a way of communicating to others.

Much more research needs to be done to understand boredom in children below the age of 10, and to help us zero in on why exactly children and adolescents get bored more often than adults. Ultimately, there may be more than one answer as boredom is a complex phenomenon.

No. There is no evidence that people who often get bored are the same kinds of people that others find boring. The oft heard claim – only boring people get bored – reveals the strong moralizing that surrounds boredom. We tend to judge boredom, and the people who complain of it, as undesirable in some manner. This is an interesting phenomenon in its own right, and researchers are starting to turn their attention to understanding the social and interpersonal dynamics of boredom. But to be clear, it is not a character flaw to feel bored; and it is really unhelpful to blame people for their boredom. Boredom is a normal part of being human. In fact, it would be disastrous if we never felt bored, because boredom saves us from stagnation and helps motivate us explore ourselves and the world. As an interesting aside, artificial intelligence researchers have realized the necessity of boredom for true intelligence, and now build the capacity for boredom into their AI. So, wear your boredom as a badge of honour.

Indeed, boredom and depression are closely linked. They tend to co-occur, and the presence of one predicts high levels of the other in the future. Importantly though, we know they are not one and the same thing; nor is boredom a mild form of depression. They are different beasts. Depression is characterized by intense sadness and an inability to find pleasure in life – neither of which is true for boredom. Depression also tends to be associated with negative self-evaluation, whereas boredom is usually associated with dissatisfaction with the external environment. We also know that our tools for measuring depression and boredom don’t get the two mixed up, so we can measure them distinctly. One study even found that treating depressed people with medication helped their depression, but not their boredom. So, they are different but related. The million-dollar question then is why exactly are they related. We need more research to confidently answer this question. Some research suggests they are part of a vicious cycle that plays out over time, each one causing the other. Other research suggests that a yet-to-be-specified factor may cause them both; they tend to co-occur because they have a common cause. Considering the available data as whole, our research team favours the view that boredom is a risk factor for depression. When bored, we are disengaged from meaningful activity, self-focused, and preoccupied with our dissatisfaction. This is a dangerous place to dwell in, as it sets the stage for negative rumination which can lead to depression.

Watching a movie or scrolling through social media typically keeps boredom away in the moment. But it is a bit like Band-Aid solution that only works in the short term. In fact, such activity may actually make us more bored in the future. To appreciate why this is the case, we need to properly understand the message of boredom. All feelings ‘tell’ us something important. Fear, for example, tells us we are in danger and need to seek safety. Sadness tells us we have lost something of value. Feelings are like compass points that help us stay oriented as we move through life. Often, we mistake the message of boredom to simply be: “Do something new and exciting.” But that is not it’s deeper message to us. Rather, boredom signals we are stagnating and are in a crisis of agency.

We are not like leaves in the wind, pushed passively this way or that by external forces. Rather our actions are rooted in our self-reflection, desires, plans and self-regulation. This is what it means to have agency. (Leaving aside thorny philosophical questions about whether our intentions are fundamentally free or not.) So, agency is about how we interact with the world. How we express ourselves, exercise our abilities, and discover. When bored, we are thrown out of engagement with the world. Boredom signals we have lost our agency, and it motivates us to find it again. Boredom is a crisis because it is a dangerous turning point that requires care on our part. It is a moment of pause that can lead to deterioration or renewal of our agency. Treating ourselves like a passive bucket to fill with exciting experience, effectively eliminates boredom in the short term, but won’t ultimately do the trick. A lasting solution requires that we find activities that flow from, and give expression to, our creativity, curiosity and passion. And resolving boredom in this way makes us stronger because it enhances our agency. So next time you are bored, give Netflix a pass, put down your phone, and reflect on what you care about, how you want to express yourself in the world. Use your boredom as jumping off point to more meaningful activity.