Question 1

What is imposter syndrome, and what does it feel like?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

Imposter syndrome was first described by two clinical psychologists - Dr Clance and Dr Imes in 1978 as a phenomenon in which people believe they are not worthy of success and have a persistent belief in their lack of ability, skills or competence. Despite evidence to the contrary. I think of it as a faulty belief. Doing something difficult or trying something new pushes you out of your comfort zone and it's natural to experience some fear. This discomfort is something we all experience; it's a normal response and is caused in part by uncertainty. It just means you care about what you're doing, but you're not sure if you can do it yet. It's how you interpret that feeling of discomfort that is key. When imposters experience it they recognise the feeling as meaning they are a fraud, falsely believing that if they were good enough or ready for this challenge they wouldn't feel like this and imagining that confident people feel differently. The reality is that these things are difficult for everyone; we all feel uncertain of ourselves at times, but imposters misinterpret this rather than recognising it as normal and part of being human.

Question 2

What is an example of imposter syndrome?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

I first got an idea of how wide-spread imposter syndrome was in my work. I work with some amazing people, many of whom are outwardly incredibly successful, but inwardly they felt completely different. They were just waiting for everything to go wrong and to be found out or exposed and it got me interested in understanding what was going on. They’d say to me, once I’ve got the promotion, or once this project is out the way, I’ll know I’m doing well, but no matter how well they did, the fear didn’t go away. Imposter syndrome can show up in different ways, but one of the biggest problems is that you can’t see it for yourself! You believe that some people have imposter syndrome, but you really are an imposter. To avoid being find out, they often fall into patterns of over-work and perfectionism or procrastionation and fear of failure. If you think you might be experiencing imposter syndrome, you can ask yourself the following questions: ·       Is it hard for you to accept compliments or recognise your achievements ·       Do you feel at times like your success has been largely down to luck or other external factors e.g. the team, contacts, hard work, timing ·       Do you compare yourself to others and imagine they know what they’re doing and are more together than you? ·       Do you belive you don’t deserve your success ·       Are you afraid people might find out that you are not actually as clever or competent as they think

Question 3

How do you cure imposter syndrome?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

Understanding imposter syndrome is the first step to overcoming it. Imposters have different rules for when they do well and when things don't work out. And this is key to why imposter syndrome doesn't go away. They attribute their success to external circumstances like luck or good timing. While if they do badly, it's a personal failing. Added to which, as an imposter it's easy to feel like you're doing badly. Imposters tend to set themselves very high standards and if they don't perform to the highest standards this leads to feelings of shame and anxiety and they wrongly conclude that this reveals something wrong with them and that they lack ability or talent, instead of seeing that their standards are unrealistic. This means you're unable to take on board positive feedback or own your achievements and you remain disconnected from them, which means it's impossible to update your view of yourself and you're basing your conclusions on how you feel rather than anything you've done. This is why success doesn't end the cycle. The imposter cure is filled with strategies to overcome imposter syndrome, but the key is to recognise the imposter voice and to update your view of yourself so you do take on board your success.

Question 4

If you are feeling like someone is 'seeing right through you", is it better to own up to imposter syndrome?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

It’s important to open up the conversation about imposter syndrome - because of the fear and shame attached to imposter syndrome there are rarely opportunities to talk about these feelings and discover that it’s not just you who feels this way. By talking about it and getting it out in the open you have a chance to really examine it and see that you are not an imposter as you fear and to see that you are not alone. Imposter syndrome makes you feel like you’re the only one, but it’s a common experience - about 70 per cent of people have felt some degree of imposter syndrome and it is something almost everyone can relate to. It can effect people from all walks of life, affects both men and women and occurs across different cultures. Affecting students to CEO’s, it can affect our relationships and friendships as well as our confidence as parents.

Question 5

Is imposter syndrome only present when people compare themselves to others?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

It is not just present in people who compare themselves to others, however, comparison does play a role in imposter syndrome. When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to cherry pick - we compare what we feel are our worst bits with other people’s best bits and we forget that we are not taking in the whole picture. It’s also worth remembering that you’re comparing how you feel on the inside with what you see of other people’s outsides. Often we assume that because other people look ok from the outside, they must feel ok but you’re forgetting that you can only hear what’s going on inside your head. In reality your fears and doubts are likely to be very similar, it’s just that people tend not to talk about these things. My job puts me in an incredibly privileged position. I work with some wonderful people and they give me an insight into their world. They tell me their darkest secrets and their greatest fears, their insecurities and sadness. This means that I know we are all similar under the surface. No one is on top of everything and there is so much overlap in peoples’ insecurities and fears.

Question 6

If you are a therapist, does imposter syndrome ever go away? E.g., with more experience?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

Yes it does go away, but only if you actively begin to take on board your successes and hold a fair picture of how you’re doing in your mind - try out the strategies in question three. It’s also helpful to remember that no-one knows it all - even if you hold a position of knowledge or you have been in a role for a long time, you are not expected to know everything. The idea of knowing everything is very restrictive. If all the great minds thought they knew everything, no one could advance and there would be no exhilarating leaps of faith. Remind yourself you just need to know enough to be able to find out.

Question 7

What are the most common factors, fears and insecurities underlying imposter syndrome?

Jessamy Hibberd · Accepted Answer

Most people think about imposter syndrome as feeling like a fraud, but it can present itself in a long list of different ways. It may appear as insecurity, self-doubt, fear of failure and perfectionism. Or as self-criticism, low self-esteem, an inability to accept compliments or a focus on where you’re falling short. It can be a guard against arrogance and a safety net in case everything goes wrong. This list, rather than being titled “Imposter Syndrome”, could be titled “The Problems of Being Human.”

Unmasking Imposter Syndrome

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