Question 1

How does social anxiety develop into a chronic issue?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

The anxiety cycle starts with a thought like, "What if I say something stupid and everyone thinks I'm weird." This thought leads to a feelings of anxiety and panic. In order to decrease the anxiety, I avoid saying something so one will think I am a fool. This anxiety cycle reinforces the anxious thoughts and avoidant behavior that can lead to a chronic problem. The good news is that this cycle can be broken by changing our thoughts and behaviors using cognitive behavioral therapy interventions.

Question 2

How can I tell if my teen is simply introverted or if they might have social anxiety?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

This can be a little tricky. As an introvert myself, I know that it is important that I have down time away from other people to recharge. Whereas  with social anxiety, this same behavior can be a form of avoidance. In other words, taking time away from people is an attempt to manage their anxiety, not to recharge.  I have attached a social anxiety quiz that can help teens identify if they may be suffering from social anxiety as opposed to simply being introverted.

Question 3

Is being shy the same as having social anxiety?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

There are similarities, but they are not the same. Shyness is is much more common and does not interfere with functioning the way social anxiety does. Most people would say that they have felt shy at some point in their lives, but only around 7% of people actually have social anxiety disorder. Both have to do with feeling uncomfortable in social situations, but in the case of social anxiety this this discomfort is severe and leads to avoidance that can severely impact one's life.

Question 4

I work in a secondary school setting. Many students present to the front office with stomach aches and wanting to go home. How should we assess and address if this is social anxiety?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

Stomach aches and wanting to go home can be signs of a number of different types of anxiety, the most common being social anxiety, panic attacks, separation anxiety, generalized anxiety and certain phobias like emetophobia, the fear of vomiting. I have attached a quiz I developed that can help identify if the student is experiencing anxiety, and what type. Having a team meeting that includes the parents, teachers, counselors and the student to develop a plan of how to deal with ongoing anxiety is important. Creating accommodations that allow the student to leave the classroom and take a break in the office are helpful. It is not advisable to send the student home, as this type of avoidance makes the problem worse in the long run.

Question 5

What are the key components of treatment for social anxiety disorder?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

There are two key components. One is to recognize that the anxious thoughts you are having are not 100% true. Socially anxious teens have thought distortions for example mind-reading, assuming that you know what others are thinking about you. Or social perfectionism, setting a standard for yourself that doesn't allow for mistakes. Or spotlighting, thinking everybody is watching you and/or how you feel inside shows on the outside. The second component is exposing rather than avoiding people and situations that make you anxious. This part of the treatment is scary, but you do it one step at a time and gain more and more confidence with each step you take.

Question 6

Why do you think that the social anxiety often starts in early adolescence?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

Anxiety disorders, including social anxiety, are partially genetic. If you have a first degree relative who suffers from anxiety, for example  a parent or sibling, you are  more likely to suffer from anxiety as well. The age of onset during adolescence  is at least impart due to genetic pre-disposition. Also it is during adolescence that  we begin to care more what our peers think of us than our parents, this too contributes to social anxiety.

Question 7

Is social anxiety a treatable condition?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

Most definitely! In fact the treatment for social anxiety not only helps  you get your life back, but the skills you learn in treatment will help in all areas of your life. Like the treatment for all types of anxiety, the goal is not to banish anxiety from your life, but to tame it so that you can do everything you want to, like make friends, go to parties, get a job, date, give oral presentations.

Question 8

Question 9

How do I help my teen not care what other people think of her?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

We are in a sense pack animals, meaning we survive and thrive in groups. It is part of our nature to care about what people think of us. The problem with socially anxious teens is that they catastrophize what might happen if someone judges them. For example if someone does not like their outfit, the socially anxious teen is afraid this would lead to being rejected, not just by that person, but possibly by a whole group of people.  Helping your teen identify catastrophic thinking can decrease their anxiety about the possibility of being judged by others.

Question 10

Is social anxiety linked to low self-esteem?

Jennifer Shannon · Accepted Answer

Social anxiety is based on what I call social perfectionism. This is the belief that you must sound smart, interesting, funny.  That there should never be awkward silences in conversations. You should not stumble over words or forget peoples names. When the socially anxious person is unable to meet this perfectionistic standard, they feel they have failed and this leads to low self-esteem.  The truth is none of us can live up to this perfectionistic standard. When we start to accept this, we feel better about ourselves and have less social anxiety.

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