Question 1

How can someone using dating apps for the purpose of a meaningful relationship spot a narcissist or dark triad traits?

Peter Karl Jonason · Accepted Answer

To date, there is no research or evidence to scientifically inform us about how to detect a predator in the online space. The myriad of things one can post is endless, so it becomes challenging to determine the red flags. Also, it is incredibly difficult to diagnose someone's personality using only small bits of information. A therapist would spend hours of clinical assessment. By looking for cues on someone's Tinder profile, you might make stereotypical judgments that will reject people when there are people you could have given a chance.

Understand that narcissists are very good at first impressions and can keep their behavior in line and seem impressive to you over little bits of time. In saying that, if you want to get to know someone better, the safest thing to do is to meet early but arrange it in a way that it is in small bits, that it is in a safe place, like going for ice cream. Don't allow fear to keep you from meeting people. Meeting them will allow you to gather information. Each date is like an information-capturing episode. Once you process this information, you can decide if you would like another episode. You can also use technologies at your disposal like Zoom meetings and simple searches to gather information in different contexts over time and ask questions.

Question 2

What do you think about Tinder recently announcing that users will be able to do criminal background checks on potential dates?

Peter Karl Jonason · Accepted Answer

I have some major reservations about this. But the debate is less psychological than philosophical, and it has a lot to do with the moral position people take and civil liberties and freedom. So, privacy versus the protection of people. So, for people saying you should give this information out, you must protect your customers and the world; these people adopt the harm avoidance moral system.
But people who have the alternative view and say it's an invasion of privacy have a more libertarian approach. They're concerned with individual liberties and in this case, freedom of information, freedom and privacy. They don't want their personal details to be given away to other people.
It's an interesting idea for a company to give this information away to assist people because companies like to nurture their business. Their business is not the protection of other people; their business is the introduction of people. Introducing strangers sometimes comes with risks, we should try to minimize those risks, but I'm not sure it's the company's responsibility to minimize those risks. The same can be said for bars and nightclubs. Bars and nightclubs are introduction services of a kind, but they are not responsible for the bad people you might meet there. 
I think that the thinking about this is well-intended. We want to protect people. It sounds like a good idea, but it's this harm avoidance system that has run amok in some ways. We think that if we gather more information, we will avoid harm. On the other hand, having too much information at your disposal when you have no context to appreciate it might lead you not to find a romantic partner because you might not like lots of information about people. We all have pasts, and we've made mistakes. It's okay if those mistakes are viewed through the lens of someone who's getting to know you, who likes you, who is already developing an affection. You say well; it's not so bad, it was 20 years ago. But when you get this information without any emotion or context, it might make it hard for you to find a partner. 
And it's interesting; it's the opposite of TMI, too much information. I might go out on a date with someone, and I tell them too much information about me too fast. And none of that information might be problematic if it was delivered over dribs and drabs, over months with context, with stories to go with it, but upon the first date, I tell you everything about me and all the bad stuff, then you're likely to run for the hills. We disclose over time in almost an implicit schedule with one another because we're building to the point of emotional connection with someone. We all have bad stories; we all have skeletons in our closet. If we learn those things too soon, then we're likely to have trouble finding relationships and liking people and even trusting people because we'll start to think that everyone is evil.

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