Question 1

Is it true that you're the worst critic of yourself?

Ethan Kross · Accepted Answer

I’m not aware of any data that definitively supports this idea. I suspect this statement may be true of some people but not others.

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2021-02-06/introspection-depression-internal-chatter-control

Question 2

What is your advice for dealing with rumination?

Ethan Kross · Accepted Answer

Step one is to recognize that it’s happening. Once you do, commit to using science-based tools to address it. As I talk about in my book, CHATTER: The Voice in our Head, Why It Matters and How to Harness It, (https://www.ethankross.com/chatter/) there are things you can do on your own (e.g., distanced self-talk, temporal distancing, journaling, perform a ritual), ways of harnessing your relationships with other people (i.e., find your “chatter advisors,” people who are adept at both providing you with empathic support but also help broaden your perspective), and ways of interacting with your environment (e.g., create order, experience awe enhance your exposure to green spaces). Those are just a few examples of tools; many others exist. No single tool is a panacea. The challenge is to identify the combination of tools that work best for you.

Question 3

Does your self-distancing technique of referring to yourself in the third person work because people are usually able to be more compassionate towards others than themselves?

Ethan Kross · Accepted Answer

It works because we are better at advising others than ourselves (we call this "Solomon's Paradox"). Distanced self-talk helps us relate to ourselves like we were someone else, putting us in a position to think more objectively about our circumstances and work through them effectively.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7a3mm/why-you-should-talk-to-yourself-in-the-third-person-inner-monologue

Question 4

Is there a technique for people to become more aware of their inner chatter?

Ethan Kross · Accepted Answer

The first step involves recognizing what chatter is—if you don’t know what it is, you will have a hard time becoming aware of it!  This is where knowing how science defines chatter (i.e., getting stuck in a negative thought loop in which you’re narrowly “zoomed-in” on a problem and can’t work through it effectively) is so useful.

To get to know your own inner voice take this fun quiz https://www.ethankross.com/chatter/quiz/

Question 5

Why is the inner voice so powerful?

Ethan Kross · Accepted Answer

Language is a powerful tool that we rely on to help us do many different things. It can be enormously helpful or harmful depending on how we use it. Silently using language to “talk to ourselves” lets us keep information active in our minds, plan for the future, control ourselves, work through problems, remind ourselves of important goals and stitch together stories to explain our experiences. We can, of course, also use language counterproductively as when we succumb to chatter.

ASK Ethan Kross how to harness your inner chatter

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